Cat relationships are complex, much like human relationships. It can be hard to tell if cats like each other. Cats may also not like each other, but be fine peacefully coexisting. So what can one look for in order to tell if their cats are bonded or would rather not be around each other?
In honor of Poutine’s first Gotcha Day and the day I introduced the dudes to each other (well, the day I started the process of introducing the dudes to each other), let’s look at ways to tell if your cats are buddies.
Look For Affiliative Behaviors
If you like someone, chances are you’re going to do nice things for them. Cats behave similarly and display positive body language toward cats they are familiar with and like. They may also engage in friendly behaviors, also called affiliative behaviors, toward cats they like.
What are some common affiliative behaviors you’ll see?
- Allogrooming (mutual grooming)
- Allorubbing (rubbing against each other)
- Touching noses
- Actively seeking out being with each other
- Approaching each other with their tails up
- Sleeping touching each other
While not an exhaustive list, the common theme is the cats choose to be near each other when they don’t have to be. If you want to learn more about affiliative behaviors in cats or cat body language in general, Lili Chin’s Kitty Language book is an thorough, entertaining, and comprehensive overview of body language.
Playing Can Look Like Fighting
It’s not uncommon for cats that live together, especially younger cats or kittens, to play with each other. Cat play sometimes can be a bit shocking to people as it looks really rough and sometimes can seem like the cats are fighting. Cat play can also exist in a gray area where it isn’t fully play but isn’t fully fighting either. Cats may also start out playing but then it turns into fighting.
Basically, cats are complicated.
In general, cat play is going to be silent or with minimal vocalizations. Growling or hissing isn’t good. The cats will usually take short pauses during play whereas a fight is usually pretty relentless. In a lot of cases, severe fights are really obvious, but playing can be pretty ambiguous. However, cats playing with each other is a sign of your cats liking each other so do your best to judge if it’s play or fighting.
Catch Them Being Good
Cats that like each other will choose to be around each other when they don’t have to be or there’s not something else motivating them to be in a particular location. What does that mean? If your cats hang out on a couch they both love, they may just be tolerating each other because the couch is elevated and cozy. This is part of why I don’t recommend feeding cats near each other during introductions: you may end up misinterpreting the cats eating near each other because they love food as them being friendly toward each other.
Look for cats sleeping near each other and touching each other as they sleep. Cats can still get the security of sleeping in a group without actively sleeping right next to each other so this is a sign they feel somewhat safe with each other.
My favorite method of telling if cats like each other? See where they are when you come home (or via a camera). Are the cats in the same room or near each other? Do they choose to be around each other when you aren’t there? If so, you can safely say you aren’t the reason the cats are spending time together. The cats are willingly choosing to be near each other when one of the highest value resources to your cats, you, aren’t home.
If you want to take this to the next level, you can install a camera to observe how your cats interact when you aren’t there. You can even get one that launches treats from an app because why not spoil your cats while you are home and while you’re away? I’ve had some clients set up cameras as part of a behavior modification plan and had heartwarming results. You may even find out that your cat waits for you to come home like I did when I put up a camera a couple years back.
How To Tell If Cats Like Each Other
While it usually is pretty clear if your cats don’t like each other, it can be a challenge to tell if your cats like each other or if they merely are living peacefully in the same space. Cats living together without incident doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bonded. It’s important to assess how well they do get along, though, as you can take steps to improve the lives of both cats if they feel so-so (or worse) about each other.
