Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship, including the one between you and your cats. Cats that trust you will make your life easier by not fighting your when it comes to nail clipping, going into the carrier, or any other time you need to get them to do something potentially scary.
So how does one get a cat to trust them? The simple answer is by understanding your cat’s needs and approaching interactions with patience and respect. Your cat is a living creature so respecting their autonomy is critical to them trusting you. There’s more to cultivating a deep and meaningful bond with your cats than just that, but thankfully it isn’t that tough to do with some guidance.
Let Your Cat Set the Pace
Cats don’t have much control over their world. You set up the environment they live in, choose their food, and when they go to the vet. Cats like having some control over their slice of the universe. Giving your cat control shows them that you’ll listen when they communicate. The result of this? A cat that’s way more cooperative than you’d think.
Giving your cat control could mean:
- Respect their boundaries: Avoid forcing your cat into situations they’re not comfortable with. Let them approach you when they are ready.
- Offer gentle pets on their terms: Only attempt physical affection, even using their favorite brush or on when you really want to pet them, when your cat is receptive. Observe their body language for signs of discomfort or pleasure, and listen to them when they tell you they’d like you to pet them.
- Let them hide if desired: Never grab your cat and pull them out from somewhere when they’re hiding. You’ll scare them and damage your relationship.
Keep Your Relationship Predictable
A consistent daily routine can provide your cat with a sense of security and predictability which can help build trust with you and others. If your cat knows how you’ll respond to something, why wouldn’t they trust you? The most consistent you are, the better.
You can accomplish this with both your own behavior or, in some cases, use technology such as an automatic feeder for your cat. Yes, even other parts of their daily routine not directly tied to you can impact their trust of you. The predictability can generalize to you. Plus, you won’t run into something called stress stacking where your cat is stressed out so less tolerant of you. The environment a cat lives in is incredibly important to their sense of safety. Minimize sudden changes in your environment or behavior as these can cause stress and anxiety.
And Positive
You should also keep your relationship positive. That means your cat can look to you when they are scared, not as a source of fear. Some ways to build that positivity include spending plenty of time playing with them (give the Cat Dancer a try if you haven’t to really see them go wild), creating a fun craft together, and maybe even giving them a little catnip.
Skip Punishments
Punishment and deterrents can damage trust and create fear. Plus, it doesn’t work as well as you’d think it would. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement of desired behaviors. It’s much more effective and doesn’t break your cat’s trust.
Spray Bottles Are Problematic
Let’s talk about one of the most common, but problematic, forms of punishment suggested for cats: spray bottles.
Even if your cat seems to tolerate or even seek out your attention after being sprayed, it doesn’t mean the punishment is harmless. Spray bottles can create a negative association with you and can lead to fear, anxiety, or aggression. While sometimes your cat may appear to be seeking you out after being sprayed, it could be due to curiosity, a desire for attention, or even just wanting to use you for warmth during the winter! However, this doesn’t mean that the negative association isn’t there.
Additionally, by using a spray bottle, you sometimes are scary and sometimes are predictable. If you are only a source of good things, your cat will be much more trusting, much more likely to listen to you, and less likely to become fearfully aggressive toward you. You might think your cat is totally fine, but actually be damaging your relationship. It’s easy to misinterpret their behavior!
Don’t Rush It
Building trust with your cat takes time and patience. By approaching interactions with kindness, understanding, and a whole boatload of patience, you can help your cat learn to trust you no matter how long you’ve had them. It’s never too late to build your cat’s trust (or ditch the spray bottle) and learn to work with your cat instead of against them.
