Cats are truly special, but that doesn’t mean you have to like every cat you have equally. But what happens if you adopt a cat and you realize that you don’t actually like them? What if you straight up hate your cat? Here’s what you can do.
Identify The Problem
Before taking any actions, start with the most basic problem: why don’t you like your cat? You can’t solve the problem unless you know what you’re trying to fix. Some reasons you may land on:
- Your cat has a behavior you don’t like
- Your isn’t as snuggly, friendly, playful, or whatever other expectation you had for them
- You lost a very special cat and they are different than your last cat
- Your cat has more complex needs than you were expecting
- The cat wasn’t your idea to begin with; a partner/child/whoever came with the cat
Dig Deeper
Once you’ve identified the problem, keep your thinking cap out because I want you to go a bit deep to really figure out what the actual problem is. This is where solutions are found! Think about why you are bothered by whatever it is. A few examples:
- You were hoping for a snuggly cat, but your cat doesn’t like being touched
- Your cat is loud and it’s disrupting your sleep (or you find the sound annoying at any time of the day)
- You’re grieving deeply for the cat you lost and the new cat isn’t like them
- You wanted an easy pet and you made the mistake of getting a kitten that requires a lot of attention
Even if you can’t nail down a single problem, you should have a start so we can begin problem solving the top explanations.
Time Is The Cure (Sometimes)
Let’s get the easy one out of the way: In some cases, you may just need to wait it out. For example, if you have a kitten that is biting you in an attempt to play, it may get better as the cat gets older. If your cat is scared because you just brought them home, they will likely warm up with some time and positive interactions.
You may also need some time for your own reasons. If the reason is grief, you’ll need to time to see all the special things about your new cat while still remembering what made the cat you lost so special. You may begin to find some of the annoying behaviors are more charming quirks. Give yourself some time, too.
Adjust Your Expectations
In some cases, you may be the problem. Are your expectations for your cat realistic? To use the kitten example again, if you expected a kitten to be an “easy puppy” then I have some bad news for you.
Cats have certain behaviors they have a natural drive to do. If your cat is climbing on your counters, that’s a completely normal thing for cats to do. It’s also normal for cats to scratch things. Give your cat an acceptable outlet for these behaviors like a tall cat tree (there are even really stylish options to give your kitty) or a nice scratching post.
You’ll Like Some Cats More Than Others
You may also be comparing your bond with a previous cat to your current cat. Every relationship and every cat is different. You may bond more closely with some cats than others. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It may be that you care for your cat, but you like them less than another cat who graced your life. Is it possible that you don’t actually dislike your cat, but you feel less intensely about them?
Things To Try
To overcome a mismatch in expectations, try some of the following:
- Think about which things you do appreciate about your cat. If you just brought them home, consider using a cat memory journal to help create something special and force yourself to think about them differently.
- Reframe your interpretation of their behavior. If you think your cat is doing something out of spite, they’re not. Spite isn’t an emotion cats experience. Try to think of different emotions they may be experiencing instead such as stress.
- Choose not to care. This sounds overly simplistic so hear me out: When I got my first cat, everyone told me I had to keep him off the counters. It was very stressful at first because he was still going on them, but one day I decided to intentionally not care about it. After a week or two, I realized when he was on my counter I wasn’t bothered by it because I actively chose to not care.
- Change the environment to make the behavior less likely to happen. For example, putting a cat tree near your kitchen can keep them off counters and offering a tall scratcher near your couch gives them an outlet for scratching.
Train Your Cat
Training is extremely beneficial to cats because it makes their world predictable, helps them actually understand what you’re saying, and builds your bond. You don’t need to train anything specific to get the benefits, but you can consider training to solve behavior problems, too.
When To Consider Rehoming
If you don’t like your cat even after trying a few things to adjust your behavior, thinking, and the environment, you may want to consider if the cat is a good fit for you. While there is a lot of stigma surrounding rehoming, sometimes it’s the right choice because your cat may thrive somewhere else. This is a bigger decision so before you jump to rehoming, really think it through.
Before rehoming, getting professional advice to help solve the issue of why you don’t like your cat is a good idea. Your veterinarian may have some suggestions. Otherwise, if you want to get some professional behavior help, I’m available for virtual consultations wherever you’re located.
