Some cats are more outgoing than others, but in some extreme cases you may have a cat that hides from everyone else but you. This can be frustrating because, as a loving cat parent, you just want to make your cat happy. While it may seem like forcing them to spend time around others is the solution, that could make things worse. Thankfully, there are ways to help your cat feel more secure around other people.
Analyze The Situation
As much as you may want to instantly jump into helping your cat feel more secure around strangers, first you need to figure out what the actual underlying issue is. Examine your cat’s behavior to determine if:
- Noises are scary: Does your cat react to sounds like doors being closed or certain people’s voices?
- There are people your cat is more comfortable around: Does your cat come out more quickly with certain people?
- What the humans may be doing: The problem may just be your cat being a cat. For example, if someone is using a spray bottle on the cat or unintentionally behaving in a way that may scare them, you may have found the source of the problem.
- It’s happening in a particular location: Could the cat feel trapped in a particular location when people walk by or is there some place that is more likely to cause your cat to hide?
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but you may notice a pattern once you start looking. The pattern may not fit 100% of the time or you might have multiple problems that need to be addressed, but this gives you a place to start.
Make Strangers Less Scary
In the behavior world, we call anything an animal can perceive a stimulus. Stimuli can have different factors that make them stronger to the animal. In the case of a person being the stressful stimulus, some of the controllable factors that can make the stimulus less stressful include:
- Increasing the distance between the person and the cat
- Reducing noises
- Obscuring the cat’s view of the person with a screen or gate
- Having the person sit with their side facing the cat (to appear smaller)
- Moving slower and not moving toward the cat
- Letting the cat escape the situation or hide
- Changing the location of the meetings
- Changing what the person is wearing
- Giving the cat control over interactions
This list isn’t exhaustive as cats can develop a fearful association between anything they perceive as a threat and another object, person, or sound. Reading your cat’s body language and trying to see when they become fearful will help.
Stop Before They Become Scared
Helping a cat be less fearful of strangers involves a process called desensitization. The goal of desensitization is have your cat be repeatedly exposed to the scary stimulus at a low level so they don’t become fearful. Over time, you increase the intensity of the stimulus so your cat doesn’t have the same anxious reaction.
In order for desensitization to work and not become flooding, the cat needs to be kept below the threshold of being anxious. Your goal isn’t to push the cat so they “tough it out.” You should stop before they become anxious. If you don’t, you could end up making the situation worse.
Build A Positive Association
Instead of only desensitizing your cat, you can help them learn that strangers are a good thing. A few strategies to do this:
- Have the person toss a favorite treat to your cat through a window or door and then leave. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
- Play with your cat with the stranger at a distance.
- Use catnip, silver vine, or valerian root. Try them combined with another method!
- Give your cat a lickable treat or meat baby food on a lick mat and have someone walk by at a distance.
- Let your cat control all interactions with new people. In many cases, having the people sit on the ground and letting your cat approach is best. Giving an animal control can help them feel more positively about a situation and especially a person.
Let Your Cat Hide
As counter intuitive as it sounds, letting your cat hide is a good thing. By forcing your cat to be out in the open while something they are terrified of is right there, you’re causing them an incredible amount of stress. It eventually might (emphasis on the might because this isn’t a reliable method) help them feel less scared, but it is extremely stressful for your cat. It may also result in your cat becoming sensitized to new people even more than they are now.
If you let them hide, they can control when they come out. It lets your cat feel secure about the world, have a greater sense of safety, and, on the extreme end of risks, prevents aggressive behavior toward humans. It’s kinder, too.
What If My Cat Isn’t Getting Better?
If your cat isn’t showing improvement, you’re not using the right approach or you’re implementing the intervention incorrectly. Go slower or make the intervention less intense. It can be tough to tell exactly what you need to do so don’t feel bad if you find this hard. If you want some ideas on figuring out how to get your cat out of hiding, I’m here to help.
