Some cats are very confident and outgoing while others are a bit more skittish. While it is natural for cats to be a little suspicious of new folks, in some cases it can cause significant distress for the cat. Thankfully, there are a few steps to try so they can feel more secure in their space and around people. This requires patience but with some intention and knowledge about what to do, you can see your cat become more comfortable.
Realistic Expectations
Before we dive in, it’s important to have realistic expectations about what you can and cannot do with your shy cat. Some cats naturally aren’t going to be super outgoing or may only like certain people. While you may be able to get them more comfortable around strangers, fearful cats may not get to the point where they enjoy interacting with new people. There’s nothing wrong with that! Your cat can be comfortable without actively seeking attention.
Similarly, if your goal is to get a cat who prefers hanging out without being petted to enjoy affection, you may not see amazing progress. Some cats naturally don’t like that type of interaction. Actually, my own cat, Prozac, isn’t a huge snuggle bug. He does like being petted and some physical interaction, but play is his love language.
Attempting to force them to become an outgoing adventure cat isn’t going to work. Rather, you may help them feel less likely to hide or spend more time out in the open, but they may still choose to not interact all the time. That doesn’t mean they’re unhappy!
It’s also possible your cat just likes hiding out in spaces that are covered. It doesn’t mean they’re afraid all the time, but it may be where they feel the most secure. Embrace it rather than fight it as it could just be your cat’s personality.
Make Interactions Positive And Predictable
If you do want to get your shy cat used to interacting with people, one of the most important things you can do is making sure that your cat is never caught off guard when it comes to interacting with people. Interactions with people should be both positive and predictable as fearful and shy cats like to know what is going to happen to them.
To make things predictable, you’ll want to try to follow the same sequence of events for all interactions with your cat. For example, if you are going to pet your cat, you can say, “touch” any time you touch your cat. This is something known as a predictor cue which is a great way to let your cat know what is coming next. The key is to do it consistently and expect results to show up slowly.
It also means you want to avoid yelling, using a spray bottle, or anything else that would cause your cat to become fearful during interactions with them. Focus on getting your cat to do behaviors you want rather than behaviors you don’t want. Clicker training is a great alternative method that can help build confidence as your cat predictably earns rewards.
Avoid Flooding
Part of making sure the interactions are positive ones involves avoiding something called flooding. Flooding is where your cat is subjected to something that causes them fear at full intensity rather than gradually helping them get used to what they are afraid of. It is extremely stressful for the cat and risks making them more fearful.
A shy cat should never have flooding used on them by forcing them to interact or grabbing them from where they are hiding. While some old school guides on socializing cats suggest this approach, it’s better to interact with cats slowly, carefully, and on their terms or use a method known as desensitization. This involves gradually exposing your cat to something they are fearful of, but at a low intensity so they never actually become fearful of it.
Keep Their Schedule Consistent
As best you can, making a cat’s day as consistent as possible can help them know what is coming next. This can increase confidence in more fearful cats as they know what’s coming next. This means establishing routines around play time, medications, feeding, and even bedtime.
Of course, it’s unrealistic to expect your schedule to never change and some of these may not be possible to keep super consistent. Focus on keeping as many parts of the day as predictable as you can. If needed, take advantage of technology to help with some of the consistency. An automatic feeder helps take the guess work out of when your cats will be fed so at least part of their day is consistent. It can also help keep them from waking you up at night!
Alter The Environment
The environment a cat lives in is extremely important to how secure they feel. If your cat doesn’t have enough resources spread out in multiple locations, it can feel like their resources are being threatened if someone is near them. That may lead to aggression or it may cause a fearful cat to feel more anxious.
Making sure your cat has plenty of places to climb, access to fresh water, high quality scratching objects, and plenty of places to hide will help your cat feel like they own their environment. Your cat should have resources in multiple locations and litter boxes in particular should always be easy to access.
Allow Your Cat To Hide (Really!)
You’ll notice above how I suggested plenty of hiding spots. While it may seem counter-intuitive, by giving your cat the chance to walk away from a situation, you will help them feel more confident. Knowing they can go to hide if they feel unsafe is a good idea. Plus, you’ll avoid flooding by not forcing them to be out when they feel terrified or by yanking them out from a hiding place.
This means that the environment should have places for cats to hide that are easily accessible in case of emergency. Generally, it’s not a great idea to let your cat have access to under the bed as it can be hard to get them out quickly if you need to quickly leave home so give them alternative places they can hide. It may be somewhere built into a cat tree or it could be a cozy cat cave. If you’re not sure what to do, even a box with a few flaps closed and a comfy blanket works!
Helping Your Shy Cat Be Less Fearful
Ultimately, helping shy cats or fearful cats feel less stressed and anxious comes down to patience and listening to them when they communicate their needs. Cats love predictability and knowing what to expect when interacting with humans. By keeping interactions positive, your shy cat will slowly learn to trust you. There are few feelings in the world more magical than when a shy cat chooses you!
