From a young age, I always loved animals. I would ask my parents to get a pet constantly. I had a very special goldfish, Bubbles, that lived for nine years. I had a frog named Fred. I had two very sweet hamsters named Cappuccino and Shadow. It’s been at least 15 years since they were around, but I still think fondly of each of them.
What I really wanted, though, was a dog or cat. I got my fix by cat and dog sitting for neighbors and friends. I would love when they would go out of town so I could spend time with their pets.
When I was finally in a position to adopt my first pet, I thought I was going to get a dog. Then I saw the cat that would eventually be renamed Zoloft and I just had to meet him. We clicked and I quickly became a full blown cat person. He eventually led me to working with cats professionally, but I won’t pretend that early on I was a perfect cat dad from the start. I made mistakes that looking back make me cringe.
If you’re thinking about adopting a cat for the first time or adopting one after a break from having cats, I want to share a few things I learned from my time with Zoloft that I wish I knew when I had adopted him. We had a great life together so I don’t think he was unhappy, but there are definitely things I could have done better.
Today would have been Zoloft’s 15th birthday. To help new cat parents who may be getting their first cat and as a way to honor Zoloft, here are some of the things I wish I would have known when I brought him home.
Be Prepared To Learn
I hear a lot of clients that I am helping with a cat behavior problem say things along the lines of, “I’ve had cats my whole life, but they’ve never _________.” Even if you’ve had cats before, each cat is different. Cats have different personalities and are individuals so they may have some general preferences, but are each unique. You will make mistakes and you will learn. Cats are more adaptable than we think so you’ll have chances to make mistakes and improve.
Even if you’ve been around cats, you’ll learn what your cat’s preferences are. You’ll learn what their favorite flavor of treat is (Zoloft loved chicken and tuna flavors and he loved Churu) and which toys they love the most (the Cat Dancer and a mouse toy I found at some pet store I stopped by on a whim). You’ll learn where they like being petted (the base of his tail was Z’s favorite) and things they hate (Zoloft hated closed doors). It will be fun and you’ll understand them inside and out.
You’ll Learn What’s Not True
You’ll also learn that a lot of myths about cats are not actually true. You’ll learn that cats are loving creatures, even if they show it in different ways. You’ll learn that they can’t just be left at home for the weekend.
Looking for a place to start (besides my blog, of course) learning about cats and cat behavior? Kitty Language by Lili Chin is a great guide to cat body language and not a long read. It’s also a great reference to keep around. Purr by Zazie Todd also provides a lot of great science based tips on how to make your cat happy and tackle some common challenges even experienced cat parents run into.
Work With Your Cat
Your cat will do things that annoy you. I loved Zoloft to bits, but at times he’d drive me nuts. That’s okay and it doesn’t mean I loved him less. It’s normal for any relationship and you have a relationship with your cat.
While many people will suggest using methods like squirt bottles to try to punish your cat for their behavior, that’s not actually a great idea. I fell victim to this poor advice when I first got Zoloft. I tried it about 3 times before I felt so bad about scaring him and then never used the squirt bottle on him again. Sorry for those 3 times, Zoloft. I still feel bad about it.
Encourage Wanted Behaviors
Rather than trying to suppress your cat’s behavior, try to get them to do something you want. I read about clicker training cats pretty soon after adopting him and now I do it professionally so you can guess how much fun I had. I found it easier to work with his natural behavior rather than fight against it. You’re inviting the cat into your home so you kind of have to expect them to act like a cat. That doesn’t mean you have to live with everything, but some things you need to accept are part of having a cat.
If you want to start somewhere low risk, you can get a clicker training kit to give training a try. Otherwise, I’m available for cat training lessons if you want individualized help.
Take Lots Of Photos And Videos
I made a scrapbook after Zoloft passed to remember our time together and store memories of it. It was a fun project and I ordered hundreds of pictures for it.
Still, I felt like I didn’t get enough pictures with him. I also didn’t have a ton of videos partially because I’m not a natural video taker. I just don’t take or watch a lot of videos. I wish I’d gotten not only more videos, but more photos… even though I narrowed down the ones I used in my scrap book to hundreds of them.
You’ll want more cute photos of your first cat. You’ll want videos of your cat meowing. You’ll treasure them always. So pull out your photo and fill up your memory card with photos of your cat. You won’t regret even the ones that are a little blurry and not quite perfect. To you, they will be perfect because they’ll be a memory of the perfect cat.
You’ll still never feel like you have enough.
One thing I’ve done with my two new dudes, Prozac and Poutine, to supplement the photos and videos, is order a memory journal for each of them. There’s a few out there, but they are essentially guided prompts to write down your memories of your time together so you don’t forget. I wish I would have done this with Zoloft so I strongly encourage you to get one for your cat or start something right when you adopt them.
Keep It Simple
While I now am an expert in what kinds of litter boxes and what types of litter cats like, I fell victim to a target ad advertising easy litter box maintenance with a magical kind of litter that only required mixing after your cat peed and scooping the cat’s poop. Zoloft was not a fan, but he used it. I could see him hesitate every time he stepped in the box, but he used it so he must like it, right? (No, that’s very not true, but off topic for this post)
When I went to change the litter a month later, I was shocked at the horrendous smell that came from the box. I left the room gagging and almost vomited. I had to hold my breath to empty the box.
I could not get regular litter fast enough.
Not All Cat Products Are Actually Helpful
What is the point of this story? You’ll see lots of advertisements for fancy cat products that seem to solve a problem but really don’t or have some terrible downside that you may not intuitively recognize since this is your first cat. Self scooping litter boxes cause you to miss out on important health information in your cat (assuming your cat even uses them). Fancy litters aren’t great and will smell worse than just scooping the litter box regularly. Don’t be duped by things that aren’t designed with cats in mind.
That’s not to say all pet tech isn’t good. I’m a big fan of automatic feeders and cat water fountains. There are also some really great low tech cat products out there like the Litter Genie that makes scooping easy. If you’re looking for some suggestions on some great cat products, I have a few blog posts about my favorites or I maintain an active list of some of the products I recommend sorted by their usage.
You Need Cat Furniture
While you may not want to have your home look like there are cats living there, the truth is there ARE cats living there. You want your cat to feel comfortable in their space or you may end up with behavior problems. One of the realities of having a cat is you need things for your cat including outlets for their natural behaviors.
That means you need multiple spread out places for your cats to climb and scratch (please don’t declaw your cat) depending on how big your space is in addition to easily accessible litter boxes. Thankfully for Zoloft, I pretty quickly ordered him a big cat tree after he came home. I think he liked it.
While you don’t need to get a bright pink cat tower (but you absolutely can if that’s your vibe), you should get your cat something to climb on. You can find ways to turn human furniture into cat furniture if you’d like or, if you want something more elegant, get a nice looking cat tower from the Refined Feline or Catit. You can also get a modular, customizable cat tower from PetLibro or Omlet to fit your space and cat’s preference. They allow you to change things up once your cat arrives.
Regardless of where or which cat trees, scratchers or other things you get your cat, please get them some cat furniture. You’ll be less likely to need me for behavior training and your cat will enjoy lounging.
Losing Your First Cat Will Hurt (And It Will Be Worth It)
One of the unfortunate realities of being a cat parent is that they don’t live as long as we do. I adopted Zoloft when he was 8 and knew that our time would be shorter than if he was a younger cat. I got over five wonderful years with him before he passed. After he passed, I struggled really hard. I had to take time off from work, it was hard for me to focus, and I fell behind on so many basic tasks. For months after, it was hard to do anything. I cried every day for 7 weeks and even when I wasn’t crying every day, it was most days.
I miss him so much and I always will. The pain of losing my best friend is terrible and nothing can prepare you for it.
Despite how terrible it has been, I wouldn’t give up a second of time with him. I know my grief will likely be life long even though it won’t always be as constant, but the bond we shared was deep and real and magical. It was so worthwhile. I don’t regret adopting an older cat because he was the perfect cat and he forever changed me.
Don’t Let The Fear Of Loss Make You Miss Out
If you’re concerned about getting a cat because of the pain of losing them, I get that. I thought about that when I adopted Zoloft. I knew it would come and it would be awful. Occasionally, even before his cancer diagnosis, I would worry about what life would be like once he was gone from my life. Mostly, though, I just enjoyed the purrs and the joy he brought me. The happiness and joy he brought to my life will always be worth it.
I hope you do choose to adopt a cat and I hope that they bring you as much joy as Zoloft brought me. Getting your first cat can be scary and confusing. Don’t beat yourself up about making mistakes. You’ll still bond with your cat and they will make your life magical. And, thanks to my first cat who showed me the joys of cat behavior, there are people out there who can help you if you’re feeling lost.
